Funerals have provided some of the best family memories I have. I know that sounds strange. Maybe I just have a crazy family. Maybe I'm onto something here. Maybe both?
I have attended many funerals in my life. Each one is a unique memory for me. Most have a common thread of enjoyment. I know, that is not a word you would normally relate to funeral attendance. Just consider for a moment that the deceased would love for you to enjoy the celebration of their life and the time you spend with family and friends recounting your favorite stories of them. In the following paragraphs, I will recount some of the funerals I have attended and how they have touched my life and in many ways, changed me...for the better.
William Joseph Frey (Pop Frey):
The first funeral I remember is my Mom's father, Pop Frey (or Papa Frey). I was 9 when he died of complications relating to cerosis of the liver. This funeral confused me. I didn't fully understand death at that age and was taking it all in. My Dad seem to have taken it the hardest, which seemed strange to me because it was my Mom's Dad that died. Dad cried through the ceremony and sobbed out loud. I was so upset that I couldn't comfort him, so I cried uncontrollably too. My Uncle Audrey (C.A.) consoled me and tried to help me understand. I am sure we had the traditional meal after the cemetary service, but I don't remember that part. What I do remember is the photos that were taken that day. The pictures of Mama Frey (Mom's Mother) are among some of my all time favorites. There was a lot of sadness that day, but the love shown in the pictures surpasses the sadness. I am grateful for the time I had with my grandfather and I still love to share memories of him with my family.
Ashley Diane Loveless:
The hardest thing I have ever faced is the death of our daughter, Ashley. She was born with a heart defect and only lived 17 hours. She died in our arms, dressed in a beautiful christening dress the loving nurses provided. We held a graveside service for her at Cheatham Hill Memorial in a section they call Baby Land. I remember how haunting it was to hear them say they had a dedicated section of the cemetery just for babies. There were more people there that I could count and I was touched that so many came. After the service, family and friends returned to our house to eat. The smart nurses who cared for me had me on pain medication, so parts of that day are quite fuzzy. But, I do remember laughing at all of the "old women" like my Mom and Mother-in-Law sneaking cigarettes in the back bedroom. They thought they could open the window, blow the smoke out and no one would know they were smoking. Sounds like something I once tried as a teenager. Their silly antics brought some comic relief in our time of grief. It makes me chuckle now.
Blaun D. Frey (Mama Frey):
Mama Frey's passing was a very sad event in our family. I remember my Mom, Aunt, Cousins and I standing at the casket saying our final goodbyes. The sobs sounded so foreign and the grief would have been overwhelming without one another to cling to. In contrast, some of my favorite family memories revolve around the meal after the ceremonies. I pulled a prank on my cousin Dean that still makes me smile today. He forgot to get a drink and left the table to get one. Then he realized he forgot a fork. When he got up to get one, I took his drink. The look on his face when he saw his drink missing was priceless, full of confusion and slow realization. Laughter erupted around the table. Of course, he got me back. The whole afternoon was filled with joking and laughter. Mama Frey's funeral was the most emotional one I have attended. She was one awesome woman, the best granny (she's slap me for that) and I miss her still.
Jim Gabrielson:
The night before I delivered Ashley, Jim came to visit me in the hospital. The nurse mistook him for my husband when she came in the room to check the monitor leads on my belly. She threw back all of the covers and there I was in all my glory! She quickly realized her mistake. We laughed so hard they almost had to remove the monitors until I could stop laughing. For years, Jim and I laughed and shared that story with others. One day, when Jim was 42, he was playing soccer and suddenly died on the field. As I sat through his funeral, I couldn't help but cry and laugh at the same time. We shared some good times together, Jim.
Mayme B. Astin (Mama Astin):
Mama Astin was my Dad's Mom. She was in her 90's when she died. This funeral was particularly difficult for me because it wasn't too long after Ashley died. I don't remember a lot from that day, but I do have some outstanding memories of her life. She was very short, but that shouldn't fool you, she could get quite mean. Once, she told her caretaker that she was going to knock her out, drag her to the field across the street and set it on fire. She could hardly even walk, much less do anyone any harm. That story still cracks me up. Mama Astin was a loving, mischievous, beautiful jokester. She could get pretty mean sometimes. I'm nothing like her...haha!
Dean Frey:
Dean died unexpectedly in a single car accident. My knees buckled and I lost my breath when Mom called me to tell me what happened. His funeral was just awful. Sadness was felt by everyone. Dean was the first of all of the cousins in our family to die and we all took it hard. The family gathered before and after the funeral at Uncle Audrey and Aunt Jo's house. We did shed a lot of tears. We also reconnected with family friends we hadn't see in 20+ years. Dean was a big ole teddy bear and hysterically funny. Memories of him and the stories told that day still bring a smile to my face.
As mentioned earlier, I have attended numerous funerals in my young life. As this blog is getting a little too long for most people to want to continue reading, I have decided to divide the "Funerals" post into two parts. The ones I haven't talked about yet deserve more attention that one would want to pay at this point. I hope you have enjoyed reading this one. I also hope it makes you think of all of the wonderful memories you have of important loved ones who have passed on. See you in part II.
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