The Joy in Funerals II

Well, if you're reading this one, I supposed you enjoyed part I.  If you didn't enjoy it and you're reading this one, you're just sick! :-)  I have a lot to say, so let's jump right into it...

Two Uncles:

Recently, I have lost 2 iconic uncles.  Both lived long, productive lives and touched many.  Both will be missed and Heaven is a better place because they are there.

Vester Dean (Uncle Vet):

Uncle Vet served his country for many years in the military.  He was highly intelligent and could fix anything.  After his funeral, his family shared many stories of his life that I hadn't heard before.  I had one of my own to share.  When my cousin, Angie, got married, I stood in for her at the rehearsal.  I guess we were 19 or so.  At the rehearsal dinner, I spoke to Uncle Vet and reminded him who I am.  He said "I was wondering who that girl with the short skirt on was!"  I was embarrassed at the time, but now it makes me laugh.  He also had a thing for shoes.  Apparently, he never met a pair he didn't buy.  Aunt Margaret said she could start a shoe store with all of the shoes in his closet.  We laughed a lot that day and visited with family we rarely see.  Uncle Vet was big on family and I know he would enjoy knowing that he brought us all together.

C.A. Frey (Uncle Audrey):

I was so sad when Uncle Audrey died.  He is the first of my Mom's siblings to pass and he was such a leader in our family.  Anyone who knew him knows what a special, loving, honest, strong man he was.  Boy did he love his Dawgs!  When I was younger, C.A. was the meanest man on the face of the earth, so his salvation story is the best I have ever heard.  When he accepted Christ, he was a changed man.  People who met him later in his life would have never believed that he used to scare the heck out of us kids.  His funeral was a Reunion of sorts as numerous family members as well as friends attended.  I will cherish that day forever.  C.A. was and is one of my favorite people ever.  He has a special place in my heart always.

There have been so many other funerals I have attended for loved ones that I still miss today.  I love the funny memories the most.  "Paw Paw" Ben was a funny, caring family friend who adopted us as his own.  He was so clumsy and working in the garden with him and my parents was like entering a war zone.  Every time "Big Foot" stepped on a plant, Mom and Dad had a fit.  My heart aches to visit with him.

Numerous Uncles, Aunts, Family Friends, etc... have passed.  Every one of their funerals has touched me in a special way.  One funeral in particular stands out to me above all others.  I use the term "funeral" loosely here.  This one was more of a "Celebration of Life".

Norman D. Astin (Doug):

On January 20, 2008, we found my Dad at his home in a state of confusion.  He had suffered a stroke.  On February 20, 2008, he suffered another stroke, this one catastrophic.  He was in the hospital for quite some time and then moved to a nursing home for rehabilitation.  He could not move the right side of his body, so he couldn't sit, walk, eat on his own, talk or do anything that he was used to in his active life.  He had a feeding tube and wore a diaper.  He was a shell of the man he had once been.  His only form of communication was "woo wa woo woo wa woo!"  Sometime he cracked us up with that, other times, all of us would get frustrated and angry.  After a while, we began to understand that he was telling us he wanted to go home to die.  Through a series of yes and no questions, I was able to understand exactly what his wishes for his funeral were.  He began to refuse his food and meds, which induced a series of mini strokes.  We moved him to my brother's farm where three days later he died from a massive stroke.  The next day, we began implementing his plan for the "Celebration" of his life. 

We decorated the walls in Mike's living room with pictures, military medals and memorabilia.  We ordered t-shirts for each of our family members and bought overalls.  On Friday night, my immediate family gathered at the farm and had a party to rival all parties.  We laughed, sang, told lies, spit, cussed and shed a few tears.  We partied until the wee hours of the morning, celebrating my Dad and our family.  Saturday morning, we gathered in our overalls and Elmer Fudd t-shirts and starter receiving guests.  If anyone came expecting a traditional funeral, they got a huge surprise.  There was music, food, drinks, stories and a lot of laughter.  We had two ministers speak and everyone milled through the living room looking through the memorabilia.  We had separated Dad's ashes into eight shotgun shell boxes:  one for each child and one for Mom.  We took his ashes to his favorite hunting spot and took turns spreading them around the area.  We gave him a shotgun salute and hung each of the shell boxes in the trees.  It rained while we were there, which seemed fitting to us.  We cried like babies while we were there.  We then took a drive out to his house for one final visit.  My family bonded that day in a way we never had.  Dad would be very happy with us for the relationships we have developed through his loss.  At the end of the day, we were all pleased with Dad's memorial and I don't think we could have done one single thing to have made it better.

So, yes, some of my best memories and some of the best time I've had with family revolve around the love have shared over tragedy and loss.  The Bible tells us to celebrate and rejoice the life of those who leave us to return to Him.  I think God smile on my family the day we celebrated my Dad.

Having recently shared the idea for this blog with a friend, I realized that some people may not have attended many funerals and a lot of people may not have had the opportunity to feel the enjoyment of the event.  Don't misunderstand me.  I do grieve each person mentioned.  I am still grieving some of them.  But, in the end, God is love and it is important to enjoy his love with the living.  So, next time you face the death of a loved one, I hope you can remember my story and enjoy remembering the dead.  You're loved one would want you to have good memories, laugh, love one another and walk away knowing they are smiling at you.

I would love for you to give my your comments, share your stories or ask me questions.  I hope I have touched you in some way.