Sharp Tongue Aftermath

This morning, someone very close to me told me that I cause my husband stress because I am overbearing and rude.  It hurt me deeply.  Then, it got me thinking about scriptures that teach us to hold our tongue, avoid making insulting remarks, refrain from allowing our tongues to damage an other's spirit.  Rather, we are to speak with compassion, mercy and love. 

These words were spoken, I had heard them and they cannot be unspoken.  So, now what?  As I have counseled many times, the harmful words and actions of others do not define who we are.  Only God can define you.  As an adult, I understand this.  Yes, the words were hurtful..  No, they don't define me. Yes, I will get over it, forgive, and keep on being me.  As a young girl, I didn't have such confidence, wisdom or strength.  This morning, I was reminded of one such time when I was hurt so deeply that it did change me, stealing any confidence my broken little 13 year old spirit had.  Yes, words can be like daggers through the heart when haphazardly spewed with disregard for the listener.

When I was a youngster, I played softball for a traveling softball team, the Metro Atlanta Angels.  I got along okay with the girls I played with, but most of them weren't my friends.  We played in tournaments all summer long, all over the Southeast.  One particular weekend, we were playing in Rex, GA.  We won our game and gathered around the dugout of a rival team from Stone Mountain to watch their game.  A lot of the girls on my team were friendly with the girls on the Stone Mountain (SM) team.  The SM team was up to bat, so most of their players were in the dugout.  One of the girls came over to talk to us through the fence.  She saw me and said "hey, are you Patti, the catcher on the Angels?"  I told her that was correct.  She said "You're the one nobody likes."  She laughed and most of my teammates laughed along with her.  I was sitting Indian Style, so I lowered my head into my lap so no one could see my face.  We sat there, as a team, through that entire game and not one person knew that I hid my face because I was crying.  When the game was over and everyone stood to leave, I didn't move.  My best friend thought I was asleep and tried to wake me up.  I didn't respond.  I took my mom and an assistant coach to get me to the car that day.  My spirit was broken by the harsh, yet true words the SM player had spoken.  My mom was ticked, my coach called a meeting to put an end to such behavior and the SM team's coach was notified of what transpired.

None of that mattered.  Those words could not be unspoken.  The damage to my spirit was a deep wound.  It was difficult for me to show my face at practices or tournaments after that.  One harsh statement had taken such a toll on me, I was changed forever. 

Those words, the laughter of my teammates, made me question every friendship I have ever had.  I went through school with very few friends, always feeling like I was the girl no one liked...you know, "that girl."   Still to this day, I question the motive of people I meet, taunted by the words of  one mean girl on that day nearly 30 years ago.

Ever wondered if you words have a lasting effect on people.  Well, now you know.  I don't remember the girl's name that said it.  But you can bet I clearly remember the words and the laughter.  Those words changed the path of my life, took hold, rooted deep in my heart and haven't died yet.  If I had only been mature enough to know that I wasn't defined by that statement.

I Peter 3:10 and following states:  For,

“Whoever would love life
and see good days
must keep their tongue from evil
and their lips from deceitful speech.
¹¹ They must turn from evil and do good;
they must seek peace and pursue it.
¹² For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous
and his ears are attentive to their prayer,
but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”

The words spoken to me this morning cut me deeply.  Yet they lead me to ask "have I spoken such harshness?"  Am I guilty of hurting someone else this way?  I work hard to encourage, support and love others.   I have seen first hand the lasting effects of "Sharp Tongue Aftermath."  Are you guilty of it?

Lead a life of compassion, passion, mercy and grace.  Write the words of I Corinthians 13:13 on your heart.  Replace deep cutting words with the deep love for one another Jesus calls us to have.  I am a never ending work in progress, trying to be a better me everyday.  But, I am also perfectly made, just as God says I am.  Rude and overbearing?  No...Just me.

LYMI!

Life: Just for Fun

Taken from the Friday Five website...even though it isn't Friday...

1. What is your most irrational fear or dislike (i.e. something most people are fine with, or something that brings back bad memories)? I am terrified of bridges.  I try so hard not to be, but I just can't seem to control it.

2. Describe your last (or only) encounter with the police. Several years ago, I was stopped at the end of the road I live on because I didn't have a tag on my truck...But, I did...I had the temporary tag in the window while I waited on my vanity tag to come in.  Vanity tags are a waste of money! :)

3. What's the biggest secret about yourself that you've ever revealed, accidentally or on purpose?  I don't have secrets.  Anyone who knows me knows all you have to do is ask...

4. When is the last time you were really, really angry? November 2009  Did you do anything drastic because you were so angry?  I "lit into" the person who made me mad bc she tried to "back me into a corner" I didn't want to be backed into.  I have only been that angry twice in my life and it was not pretty.  It was definitely good that we were conversing by phone and not in person. :-0

5. If you could raise someone from the dead, who would it be, why, and do you think he or she would be happy to be alive again? Mama Frey.  I miss her wisdom and hilarious-ness.  I regret that I didn't spend more time with her and that I wasn't closer to her...even though we were pretty close.  Besides the fact that she is now in Paradise, she would be happy to live again.  She loved life and people.  She fought for life right to the end.

Now it is your turn.  Copy the questions into your blog and give it a go.

Dinner that is yummy and good for you

Tonight's dinner was so delicious and made will all organic products.  All of the ingredients came from Whole Foods and have no preservatives, horomones, antibiotics, etc...  Try it and let me know how you like it.

1/2 Onion, chopped

1 Carrot, chopped

2 Cloves Garlic, chopped

Extra Virgin Olive Oil

3 TBSP Butter

Sea Salt
Taco Spices

2 Links Chorizo

1 1/2 Cups Basmati Rice

4 Cups Chicken Stock ( I use low sodium)

Heat EVOO and 1 tsp of butter over medium heat.  Add onion and carrot and cook until onion is transluscent.  Add garlic (if mixture is sticking, add a small amount of stock).  Peel the casings off of the chorizo, add to the pan and break up with a spoon or fork.  Cook mixture until sausage is cooked through.  Spread mixture to the sides of the pan.  Add rice to the center and stir frequently until rice starts to slightly brown.  Sprinkle with spices (you can add more after rice is done).  Add 3 cups of stock,remainder of butter, bring to a boil, cover, reduce heat and let it simmer for 12-15 minutes (stir occasionally, add more stock if needed).  Taste and add spice and sea salt to taste.

I served with chirizo refried beans (organic, of course) with cheddar cheese melted over the top.

RJ and Leah had happy tummies tonight. :-)  Enjoy.

Life: Silly Ole Me

It’s a slow day…  Enjoy reading my q&a about me!  (It’s all I’ve got today)

1.        My best friend’s name?  Christy Lynn M**** W*****.  The best friend a girl could ask for…going on 30 years!

2.       What are you listening to right now?  Fox News Channel America’s Newsroom and the hum of my laptop

3.       My fave number?  I have several…  #13, #7, #21

4.       The last thing I ate?  Hawaiian Roll with homemade Apple Butter

5.       The weather right now?  HOT, humid, HOT

6.       Who was the last person I talked to on the phone?  My husband.  I called to tell him that his dad called to tell me an Anthony Weiner joke.

7.       Significant other?  Refer to question #6…It’s a good story.  My best friend from question #1 was dating a boy in high school who was best friends with a boy they set me up on a blind date with.  We fell in love and lived happily ever after…well, for the last 26 years anyway.

8.       Favorite TV show? The First 48

9.       Siblings?  YES, lots of them.  Five brothers, One Sister

10.   Height?  5’ 10”

11.   Hair color?  Light brown and GRAY

12.   Eye color?  Blue unless I’m ticked.  If my eyes are green…beware!

13.   Favorite holiday?  Thanksgiving.  We get together with my Mom’s family.  On a Thanksgiving Day when most of us attend, there is over 50 people, tremendous amounts of southern home cooked food and massive amounts of love and laughter.

14.   Cried for no reason?  Of course, it runs in the family (the one mentioned in #13).

15.   Last movie watched?  The new version of True Grit

16.   Can you do a headstand without using the wall?  Absolutely NOT

17.   Hugs or Kisses?  Depends on who is hugging and kissing.  I only like kisses from my hubby.  I love hugs from all others.

18.   Chocolate or Vanilla?  Vanilla creamer in my coffee…everything else needs chocolate in it.

19.   What books are you reading?  The Bible, Dave Ramsey’s “The Money Answer Book”, “Sacred Fire”, I have a lot started right now, but haven’t completed any of them…

20.   Piercings?  Both ears double pierced

21.   Favorite movies?  Liar, Liar, both Miss Congeniality movies, Two Weeks Notice, All of the Bourne movies.  I’m sure there is more,  but I can’t recall at the moment.

22.   Favorite football team?  Georgia Bulldogs (woof woof woof)

23.   Dogs or Cats?  Dogs and DAWGS

24.   Ever fired a gun?  Sure.  Not at a person, thank goodness.  I love to shoot.  I have a concealed weapon permit and carry a gun with me everywhere I go.  I believe strongly in my 2^nd Amendment right.

25.   Travel by plane?  Yes, love the destination, hate the mode.

26.   Right-handed or left?  Right

27.   How many pillows do I sleep with?  Three.  One is a flat-as-a-flitter feather pillow I put between my head and headboard.  I actually lay my head on one polly filled pillow and one fabulous feather pillow.

28.   Missing someone?  I miss my Momma Frey (grandmother).  I wish I had more time with her to learn her wisdom and hear more of her hilarious statements.  She made a definite mark on me.

29.   Tatoos?  None.  Don’t ever plan on having any.  Don’t mind if you have them, they’re just not for me.

30.   What else do you want to know?  Just ask…

Have a good day.  LYMI!

Life, Love: One Sunday

Sunday morning.  Father’s Day. 

My father has "gone on to be with the Lord."  I didn’t have a great relationship with him, but in the end, I loved him, he loved me and all is forgiven.

Even as a youngster, I knew I didn’t want my children to go through what I did.  At the age of 14 7/8, how could I have known what kind of father “this guy” I was dating would be?  I didn’t have to.  God knew and He had already planned this answer to my prayers. He brought this wonderful boy into my life who matured into the most wonderful man, husband, father and friend God could have blessed me with.

I am infinitely thankful for the father of my children.  In him, God gifted my children with the most awesome protector, advocate and teacher.  This man loves our girls unconditionally with compassion, fairness, discipline and guidance.  He has an uncanny ability to know just the right thing to say and do.  He has a natural way of turning the girls' most stressful conversations into laughter and resolution.  He has that effect on me too.

Our oldest daughter is grown and has graduated, married and moved out.  Now, she and her husband are blessing us with our first grandchild, a little girl.  Of course, we are ecstatic and impatient.  My heart is overjoyed as I picture the future with our granddaughter.  What an awesome grandfather my husband is going be.  My heart nearly explodes with joy as I imagine this little girl falling in love with her grand paw.

I thank God every day that He blesses me and my girls with this man who loves Him and stands up to defend His values and morality.  What a blessing it is to know God answered my prayers in such an abundant way, for me, for our girls and our future.  Happy Father’s Day RJ…my One love.

Life: Friday Five on Saturday Night (Edited Version...with update)

Yes, this is a Friday activity.  Yes, it is Saturday night.  Get over it and read the blog.

1. When did you last have occasion to march anywhere? When I was in the Marching Band in High School which was %& years ago.  We were good, we won a lot of competitions.  Yes, I was a band geek.
2. What kind of hula-hooper are you?  HA!  Twice around then to the ankles.  I have no rhythm.  Makes you wonder about the previous question, right.  I can count time, I just can't move my body "like that!"
3. What kind of madness is most likely to infect you this weekend? Oh, I'm already miffed that I know that while discussing the day's plans, a certian inlaw will say "at least you don't have to worry about visiting your dad today since he's dead."  Yeah, I know...but do you know the inlaws?  If so, you understand why I'm already miffed and may even ask me why it makes me mad every time this person feels the need to remind me that my dad died.  All of that said, I have to say this is why God tells us it is a sin to worry about things as if He can't handle them.  The visit came and went without the first mention of my dad.  The conversation was good, the visit was enjoyable and everything was right in the world.  So, why do we work ourselves up over such things?
4. Under what circumstances this past week might you have had reason to shout, “SCORE!” Hmmmm...I was pretty happy when I paid $3.41 for gas and it was $3.59 at all of the other stations.  Pretty sad to celebrate paying that much for a gallon of gas.  But, it is what it is right now.  WE are the only ones that can CHANGE it.
5. When did you last inadvertently dribble, drool, or otherwise let liquid escape your mouth while trying to keep it in?  It has been a couple of years.  I was eating a banana and tried drinking some coffee at the same time.  The coffee came out of my mouth and the banana out of my nose.  Unfortunately, the clumps of banana landed in my coffee cup.  I didn't even bother making a fresh cup, I just went without that morning.

Hope you enjoyed.  I didn't really have anything cute to tell....lame!  Thanks for reading it anyway.  LYMI!

Faith: Engulfed by God’s Presence

As I look out over our yard this morning, marked by last night’s desperately needed rains, I am captured by God’s constant and complete presence.   The fog is moving as the sun rises.  Without void, the fog engulfs anything in its path.  As I watch it rise, I am reminded of the presence of God’s Holy Spirit, always surrounding us, without void, engulfing us in God’s love, guidance and protection.  Like the fog, the Holy Spirit moves without any human guidance or control.  Doing Its job despite any attempts of influence by man.  It brings new meaning to the term “walking around in a fog,” doesn’t it?

Romans 8:26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought,but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with sighs too deep for words. (LB)

Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose. (KJ)