Sharp Tongue Aftermath

This morning, someone very close to me told me that I cause my husband stress because I am overbearing and rude.  It hurt me deeply.  Then, it got me thinking about scriptures that teach us to hold our tongue, avoid making insulting remarks, refrain from allowing our tongues to damage an other's spirit.  Rather, we are to speak with compassion, mercy and love. 

These words were spoken, I had heard them and they cannot be unspoken.  So, now what?  As I have counseled many times, the harmful words and actions of others do not define who we are.  Only God can define you.  As an adult, I understand this.  Yes, the words were hurtful..  No, they don't define me. Yes, I will get over it, forgive, and keep on being me.  As a young girl, I didn't have such confidence, wisdom or strength.  This morning, I was reminded of one such time when I was hurt so deeply that it did change me, stealing any confidence my broken little 13 year old spirit had.  Yes, words can be like daggers through the heart when haphazardly spewed with disregard for the listener.

When I was a youngster, I played softball for a traveling softball team, the Metro Atlanta Angels.  I got along okay with the girls I played with, but most of them weren't my friends.  We played in tournaments all summer long, all over the Southeast.  One particular weekend, we were playing in Rex, GA.  We won our game and gathered around the dugout of a rival team from Stone Mountain to watch their game.  A lot of the girls on my team were friendly with the girls on the Stone Mountain (SM) team.  The SM team was up to bat, so most of their players were in the dugout.  One of the girls came over to talk to us through the fence.  She saw me and said "hey, are you Patti, the catcher on the Angels?"  I told her that was correct.  She said "You're the one nobody likes."  She laughed and most of my teammates laughed along with her.  I was sitting Indian Style, so I lowered my head into my lap so no one could see my face.  We sat there, as a team, through that entire game and not one person knew that I hid my face because I was crying.  When the game was over and everyone stood to leave, I didn't move.  My best friend thought I was asleep and tried to wake me up.  I didn't respond.  I took my mom and an assistant coach to get me to the car that day.  My spirit was broken by the harsh, yet true words the SM player had spoken.  My mom was ticked, my coach called a meeting to put an end to such behavior and the SM team's coach was notified of what transpired.

None of that mattered.  Those words could not be unspoken.  The damage to my spirit was a deep wound.  It was difficult for me to show my face at practices or tournaments after that.  One harsh statement had taken such a toll on me, I was changed forever. 

Those words, the laughter of my teammates, made me question every friendship I have ever had.  I went through school with very few friends, always feeling like I was the girl no one liked...you know, "that girl."   Still to this day, I question the motive of people I meet, taunted by the words of  one mean girl on that day nearly 30 years ago.

Ever wondered if you words have a lasting effect on people.  Well, now you know.  I don't remember the girl's name that said it.  But you can bet I clearly remember the words and the laughter.  Those words changed the path of my life, took hold, rooted deep in my heart and haven't died yet.  If I had only been mature enough to know that I wasn't defined by that statement.

I Peter 3:10 and following states:  For,

“Whoever would love life
and see good days
must keep their tongue from evil
and their lips from deceitful speech.
¹¹ They must turn from evil and do good;
they must seek peace and pursue it.
¹² For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous
and his ears are attentive to their prayer,
but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”

The words spoken to me this morning cut me deeply.  Yet they lead me to ask "have I spoken such harshness?"  Am I guilty of hurting someone else this way?  I work hard to encourage, support and love others.   I have seen first hand the lasting effects of "Sharp Tongue Aftermath."  Are you guilty of it?

Lead a life of compassion, passion, mercy and grace.  Write the words of I Corinthians 13:13 on your heart.  Replace deep cutting words with the deep love for one another Jesus calls us to have.  I am a never ending work in progress, trying to be a better me everyday.  But, I am also perfectly made, just as God says I am.  Rude and overbearing?  No...Just me.

LYMI!

Life: Just for Fun

Taken from the Friday Five website...even though it isn't Friday...

1. What is your most irrational fear or dislike (i.e. something most people are fine with, or something that brings back bad memories)? I am terrified of bridges.  I try so hard not to be, but I just can't seem to control it.

2. Describe your last (or only) encounter with the police. Several years ago, I was stopped at the end of the road I live on because I didn't have a tag on my truck...But, I did...I had the temporary tag in the window while I waited on my vanity tag to come in.  Vanity tags are a waste of money! :)

3. What's the biggest secret about yourself that you've ever revealed, accidentally or on purpose?  I don't have secrets.  Anyone who knows me knows all you have to do is ask...

4. When is the last time you were really, really angry? November 2009  Did you do anything drastic because you were so angry?  I "lit into" the person who made me mad bc she tried to "back me into a corner" I didn't want to be backed into.  I have only been that angry twice in my life and it was not pretty.  It was definitely good that we were conversing by phone and not in person. :-0

5. If you could raise someone from the dead, who would it be, why, and do you think he or she would be happy to be alive again? Mama Frey.  I miss her wisdom and hilarious-ness.  I regret that I didn't spend more time with her and that I wasn't closer to her...even though we were pretty close.  Besides the fact that she is now in Paradise, she would be happy to live again.  She loved life and people.  She fought for life right to the end.

Now it is your turn.  Copy the questions into your blog and give it a go.

Dinner that is yummy and good for you

Tonight's dinner was so delicious and made will all organic products.  All of the ingredients came from Whole Foods and have no preservatives, horomones, antibiotics, etc...  Try it and let me know how you like it.

1/2 Onion, chopped

1 Carrot, chopped

2 Cloves Garlic, chopped

Extra Virgin Olive Oil

3 TBSP Butter

Sea Salt
Taco Spices

2 Links Chorizo

1 1/2 Cups Basmati Rice

4 Cups Chicken Stock ( I use low sodium)

Heat EVOO and 1 tsp of butter over medium heat.  Add onion and carrot and cook until onion is transluscent.  Add garlic (if mixture is sticking, add a small amount of stock).  Peel the casings off of the chorizo, add to the pan and break up with a spoon or fork.  Cook mixture until sausage is cooked through.  Spread mixture to the sides of the pan.  Add rice to the center and stir frequently until rice starts to slightly brown.  Sprinkle with spices (you can add more after rice is done).  Add 3 cups of stock,remainder of butter, bring to a boil, cover, reduce heat and let it simmer for 12-15 minutes (stir occasionally, add more stock if needed).  Taste and add spice and sea salt to taste.

I served with chirizo refried beans (organic, of course) with cheddar cheese melted over the top.

RJ and Leah had happy tummies tonight. :-)  Enjoy.

Life: Silly Ole Me

It’s a slow day…  Enjoy reading my q&a about me!  (It’s all I’ve got today)

1.        My best friend’s name?  Christy Lynn M**** W*****.  The best friend a girl could ask for…going on 30 years!

2.       What are you listening to right now?  Fox News Channel America’s Newsroom and the hum of my laptop

3.       My fave number?  I have several…  #13, #7, #21

4.       The last thing I ate?  Hawaiian Roll with homemade Apple Butter

5.       The weather right now?  HOT, humid, HOT

6.       Who was the last person I talked to on the phone?  My husband.  I called to tell him that his dad called to tell me an Anthony Weiner joke.

7.       Significant other?  Refer to question #6…It’s a good story.  My best friend from question #1 was dating a boy in high school who was best friends with a boy they set me up on a blind date with.  We fell in love and lived happily ever after…well, for the last 26 years anyway.

8.       Favorite TV show? The First 48

9.       Siblings?  YES, lots of them.  Five brothers, One Sister

10.   Height?  5’ 10”

11.   Hair color?  Light brown and GRAY

12.   Eye color?  Blue unless I’m ticked.  If my eyes are green…beware!

13.   Favorite holiday?  Thanksgiving.  We get together with my Mom’s family.  On a Thanksgiving Day when most of us attend, there is over 50 people, tremendous amounts of southern home cooked food and massive amounts of love and laughter.

14.   Cried for no reason?  Of course, it runs in the family (the one mentioned in #13).

15.   Last movie watched?  The new version of True Grit

16.   Can you do a headstand without using the wall?  Absolutely NOT

17.   Hugs or Kisses?  Depends on who is hugging and kissing.  I only like kisses from my hubby.  I love hugs from all others.

18.   Chocolate or Vanilla?  Vanilla creamer in my coffee…everything else needs chocolate in it.

19.   What books are you reading?  The Bible, Dave Ramsey’s “The Money Answer Book”, “Sacred Fire”, I have a lot started right now, but haven’t completed any of them…

20.   Piercings?  Both ears double pierced

21.   Favorite movies?  Liar, Liar, both Miss Congeniality movies, Two Weeks Notice, All of the Bourne movies.  I’m sure there is more,  but I can’t recall at the moment.

22.   Favorite football team?  Georgia Bulldogs (woof woof woof)

23.   Dogs or Cats?  Dogs and DAWGS

24.   Ever fired a gun?  Sure.  Not at a person, thank goodness.  I love to shoot.  I have a concealed weapon permit and carry a gun with me everywhere I go.  I believe strongly in my 2^nd Amendment right.

25.   Travel by plane?  Yes, love the destination, hate the mode.

26.   Right-handed or left?  Right

27.   How many pillows do I sleep with?  Three.  One is a flat-as-a-flitter feather pillow I put between my head and headboard.  I actually lay my head on one polly filled pillow and one fabulous feather pillow.

28.   Missing someone?  I miss my Momma Frey (grandmother).  I wish I had more time with her to learn her wisdom and hear more of her hilarious statements.  She made a definite mark on me.

29.   Tatoos?  None.  Don’t ever plan on having any.  Don’t mind if you have them, they’re just not for me.

30.   What else do you want to know?  Just ask…

Have a good day.  LYMI!

Life, Love: One Sunday

Sunday morning.  Father’s Day. 

My father has "gone on to be with the Lord."  I didn’t have a great relationship with him, but in the end, I loved him, he loved me and all is forgiven.

Even as a youngster, I knew I didn’t want my children to go through what I did.  At the age of 14 7/8, how could I have known what kind of father “this guy” I was dating would be?  I didn’t have to.  God knew and He had already planned this answer to my prayers. He brought this wonderful boy into my life who matured into the most wonderful man, husband, father and friend God could have blessed me with.

I am infinitely thankful for the father of my children.  In him, God gifted my children with the most awesome protector, advocate and teacher.  This man loves our girls unconditionally with compassion, fairness, discipline and guidance.  He has an uncanny ability to know just the right thing to say and do.  He has a natural way of turning the girls' most stressful conversations into laughter and resolution.  He has that effect on me too.

Our oldest daughter is grown and has graduated, married and moved out.  Now, she and her husband are blessing us with our first grandchild, a little girl.  Of course, we are ecstatic and impatient.  My heart is overjoyed as I picture the future with our granddaughter.  What an awesome grandfather my husband is going be.  My heart nearly explodes with joy as I imagine this little girl falling in love with her grand paw.

I thank God every day that He blesses me and my girls with this man who loves Him and stands up to defend His values and morality.  What a blessing it is to know God answered my prayers in such an abundant way, for me, for our girls and our future.  Happy Father’s Day RJ…my One love.

Life: Friday Five on Saturday Night (Edited Version...with update)

Yes, this is a Friday activity.  Yes, it is Saturday night.  Get over it and read the blog.

1. When did you last have occasion to march anywhere? When I was in the Marching Band in High School which was %& years ago.  We were good, we won a lot of competitions.  Yes, I was a band geek.
2. What kind of hula-hooper are you?  HA!  Twice around then to the ankles.  I have no rhythm.  Makes you wonder about the previous question, right.  I can count time, I just can't move my body "like that!"
3. What kind of madness is most likely to infect you this weekend? Oh, I'm already miffed that I know that while discussing the day's plans, a certian inlaw will say "at least you don't have to worry about visiting your dad today since he's dead."  Yeah, I know...but do you know the inlaws?  If so, you understand why I'm already miffed and may even ask me why it makes me mad every time this person feels the need to remind me that my dad died.  All of that said, I have to say this is why God tells us it is a sin to worry about things as if He can't handle them.  The visit came and went without the first mention of my dad.  The conversation was good, the visit was enjoyable and everything was right in the world.  So, why do we work ourselves up over such things?
4. Under what circumstances this past week might you have had reason to shout, “SCORE!” Hmmmm...I was pretty happy when I paid $3.41 for gas and it was $3.59 at all of the other stations.  Pretty sad to celebrate paying that much for a gallon of gas.  But, it is what it is right now.  WE are the only ones that can CHANGE it.
5. When did you last inadvertently dribble, drool, or otherwise let liquid escape your mouth while trying to keep it in?  It has been a couple of years.  I was eating a banana and tried drinking some coffee at the same time.  The coffee came out of my mouth and the banana out of my nose.  Unfortunately, the clumps of banana landed in my coffee cup.  I didn't even bother making a fresh cup, I just went without that morning.

Hope you enjoyed.  I didn't really have anything cute to tell....lame!  Thanks for reading it anyway.  LYMI!

Faith: Engulfed by God’s Presence

As I look out over our yard this morning, marked by last night’s desperately needed rains, I am captured by God’s constant and complete presence.   The fog is moving as the sun rises.  Without void, the fog engulfs anything in its path.  As I watch it rise, I am reminded of the presence of God’s Holy Spirit, always surrounding us, without void, engulfing us in God’s love, guidance and protection.  Like the fog, the Holy Spirit moves without any human guidance or control.  Doing Its job despite any attempts of influence by man.  It brings new meaning to the term “walking around in a fog,” doesn’t it?

Romans 8:26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought,but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with sighs too deep for words. (LB)

Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose. (KJ)

Life: Straight Thinking

Ever heard the expession "can't think straight? " My whole life is the anthem for that expression.
It drives me crazy. You know how fb or twitter will only let you type a certain number of characters in the status box? You can keep typing, but it doesn't show up, like your status just hit a wall and can't continue...um hmm, that's how my brain works. Unfinished or lost thoughts are my new norm.

What causes this? I mean, everyone I'm around seems to "have it together". Where's my "it" and why isn't "it" all together in the same place, at the same time? It is exhausting.

Maybe I just have so much more to deal with than the average wife-mom-business woman-secretary- housemaid-cook woman out there. That's it. Those who have it together have noting better to do with their time than have it together. I don't like you. You make me look bad. You make me feel inadequate. You make the boss in me wonder what the heck I was thinking when I hired me. Do you think if I fired myself, i'd have more time to get the rest of my "it" together?

That's all of the unallotted time I can use for this. I must move on to my next unscheduled task while pushing aside all of the things I'm supposed to be doing. Look out...here
comes a day of "Patti-ness"

LYMI!

Fed Up

I am so sick of the politics in this country.  The very people who are supposed to be working for us, are taking from us and walking all over us.  Corruption runs rampant in our government.  Our hard earned dollars are hap hazardously spent on false stimulus packages.  Liberals think they know what we need and how we should live better than we do.  Seriously!  Nancy Pelosi knows whats best for me?  SERIOUSLY.   As if that's not enough, the Constitution has been referred to as "just a document" and efforts are being made to rewrite it.

PEOPLE WAKE UP!  Where will this stop?  Bail outs...did you receive one?  I didn't.  My business has struggled for several years now to support our family and the families of those we employ.  Did the government throw some funds our way?  NO.  Health care...can they make yours better?  NO.  Illegals...they want to just wave a wand and make them legal...after all, they are already here, right?  NO.  EPA...do we need more regulation, more ethanol, less energy production here? NO.  We need to drill here and drill now.

What pesters me the most is the attitude of oblivion that people my age take towards all of this.  How many of my friends and family politically in-tune with what's going on...NOT ENOUGH!  In fact, very few.  Where did this attitude of "burying your head and everything will be okay" come from?  WELL SISTA, IT AIN'T A GONNA BE OK!  Do I really belong to a generation of uninterested, un-patriotic, self concerned idiots?  Well, it is starting to look that way, now isn't it.

Yes, SOME of my friends and family care about what is going on with our country.  They understand that we have to stop the liberals from taking OUR country any closer to communism.  They know what the Constitution says, believe it and stand up for it.  But are there enough of us?

I'm just going to tell you, if you like your freedom, your Constitution rights (including your guns and freedom to say what you want and be a Christian), your money, the doctor who has taken care of you for 20 years, the ability to do a better job so you can earn more money, that gas guzzling car parked in your driveway, the money that says "United States of America" and "in God we trust", your aging parents to receive the care they need and want, and so much more that makes this country the greatest place on earth to live, then you better put your grown up, give a damn, fightin' panties on and pay attention.  If you can't do that, don't come whining to me when Obamacare, Dream Act, Communist supporting liberal Pelosi's of this world take it all from you and tell you what to do and how to do it for the rest of your life.  PEOPLE WAKE UP!

Life: Not American Behavior

Recently, I went to my local Barnes & Noble to pick up a copy of "Sacred Fire" about George Washington.  It turned out to be an interesting tale.

I forgot the name of the author, which makes it nearly impossible to find a book at B&N.  So, they have this desk in the middle of the store where you can find employees who will help you.  Well, who are supposed to help you.  This particular night, there was a short, skinny, unhappy looking lady working.  I asked her if she would help me find the book I was looking for.  She wanted the title and author.  So, I explained my dilemma to her and she promptly told me that there were so many books on George Washington that I would never be able to find it if I didn't know the author.  Here is where the interesting part comes in.  I explained that I would recognize the cover because I saw it on the Glenn Beck show and that's how I knew the title.  Talk about body language.  She immediately stiffened and became brash, to the point that my then 13 year old daughter picked up on it.

To make a long story even longer...every time I opened my mouth, she seemed to be less and less willing to help.  I said surely she had heard of it recently and others were asking for it since Glenn recommended it.  Boy, was she getting impatient with me.  After a few minutes, I spotted the book on her computer.  She looked at it and told me it was no longer in print.  No longer in print!!!  REALLY!  So, the host of the most listened to talk show in the universe is recommending a book that is no longer in print?  I asked her if I could order it.  She told me she would order it for me, they would email me when it comes in and I could pay for it then.  With my daughter in tow, I left the store with a skip in my step, excited that my book would soon be in.  We laughed all the way to the car at the way the lady behaved after I mentioned Glenn.

Several weeks go by and I didn't hear anything from B&N, so I stopped in to see if the book had arrived.  The same lady was working, but was busy with another customer.  There was a nice gentleman who asked what I needed.  He looked up my account, looked somewhat confused and asked if I was sure I ordered the book.   He read the notes on my account and asked who helped me order the book.  When I told him, he said that explains everything.  Explains what?  After I left the store the day I ordered the book, the clerk cancelled my order.  She said that she didn't think I really wanted to order the book.  Now, if she isn't a liberal, you can butter my butt and call me a biscuit.

The guy helping me was very uncomfortable.  She was standing a few feet from him and he didn't want her to overhear him.  He said he watched the show that Glenn recommended the book on, so he knew exactly what I was looking for.  He was not at all surprised that the liberal heffer had cancelled my order.   Turns out he had two copies of the book in the store, but they were both ordered by the same person.  He called them and asked if I could buy one of their copies.  They said I could, so I left the store with my copy of "Sacred Fire" despite the liberal heffer.  Again, my daughter and I laughed at her all the way to the car.

I didn't complain, I didn't get ugly with the heffer, I didn't cause a scene...but then, I am a Conservative.  This got me to thinking about her behavior the day I thought I ordered the book and my behavior on both visits.  The difference epitomizes the difference between a liberal and a conservative...unAmerican behavior and a Patriot.

A liberal knows what is better for you than you do.....A Conservative believes in your right to live your life Independently.

A liberal knows that the Constitution is an old, out dated document...A Conservative believes in the Constitution, Declaration of Independence, the Bible and the authors of all three.

A liberal knows that a woman has the right to have an abortion...A Conservative believes that life begins at conception and our Unalienable rights are also the rights of that child.

A liberal knows every person in this country needs healthcare...A Conservative believes we have the right to decide what we spend our money on and the right to make our own healthcare decisions.

A liberal wants socialism / marxism / communism...A Conservative believes in freedom, capitalism and working hard to get ahead.

Liberal:  wealth distribution...Conservative:  Independence
Liberal:  god...Conservative: God, Jesus Christ, Holy Spirit
Liberal:  government handouts...Conservative:  Loves to help others, but has the freedom to choose how and who
Liberal:  Taxes for you, not for them...Conservative:  Taxed Enough Already

Liberal:  UNAMERICAN....CONSERVATIVE:  PATRIOT!

If the liberal heffer had her way, she would have controlled my reading material, denying me the right to read about my forefathers, the Constitution, Declaration of Independence and the founding of our country that, yes, has it's basis in Christianity.  But, she didn't get her way.  I didn't cause a scene, complain or get angry.  But, you better bet that I could have and would have...because I am a PATRIOT.  I believe in Conservative values, God, Country, Family.  Yes, I am a gun totin', Bible thumpin', redneck girl.  No "change" is going to budge me from my beliefs.  No skinny, uneducated, miserable liberal is going to dampen my PATRIOTISM.

The book is good.  Thanks to Glenn for recommending it.  If you wish to read it and the liberal clerk won't order it, I've got a copy and I share.  BTW, I can't stand liberals.  Here are a few I despise:

Barack Obama
Nancy Pelosi
Harry Reid
Barney Frank
Mayor Bloomberg
Keith Olbermann
Bill Maher
Sheriff Dupnik
Nancy Pelosi
Michelle Obama
Rachel Maddow
Arianna Huffington
B&N Heffer
Nancy Pelosi
There's too many to name...
Nancy Pelosi


Thank you for reading my ramblings.  I hope you got some enjoyment out of it.  Feel free to comment.  LYMI!

#conservatives #tcot #teaparty #Patriots

Give Me a Challenge, I'll Face It...Faith & Love

It has been a little over a week since our lovely South Korean foreign exchange student graced our presence with her beautiful smile, entertaining pronunciations and brilliant laughter.  It has been uncomfortable at times, enlightening, enjoyable, funny, emotional and yes, challenging.

We waited FOREVER at the top of the escalators at the airport, nervous that we missed her and she was waiting all alone by the baggage carousel, scared out of her mind.  Then, finally, she appeared, spotted our ridiculous sign and came over laughing.  She had a good trip because she met another student who was coming over to go to the same school and they became pals.  The first thing we noticed was her smile and she giggled a lot.  She told us her flight was "un-a-comfort-a-bllle," which made us giggle.

The first few days were strange.  We felt uneasy in our own home, trying not to fuss, yell, cuss or make her un-a-comfort-a-bllle.  I'm positive that all of the "trying" made us fail miserable.  But, school started back and we got into the swing of things.  Routines always seem to help settle people into something new.  With school and regular life came the challenges we knew would be coming our way.

We take our understanding of the English language for granted.  I didn't realize that until I began to try to parent a Korean speaking teenager who had only a small vocabulary of English words.  Sentences seem to no longer fit into our daily communications.  I am sure she has been thrown onto a merry-go-round unwillingly with no way to get off for the next six months.  I am also sure that the way we do things, like parenting, differ from her homeland.  Strict rules don't seem to be something she is used to.

In my house, what my hubby and I say goes.  Just ask our two girls.  We are strict, demanding and expectant.  We don't apologize for it either.  So, anyone who visits is expected to follow house rules too.  This includes understanding and acting upon things like "hurry up," dinnertime round up, lights out, no spend the nights on school nights, getting permission to do certain things, etc...  Try communicating that to an independent demanding non-English speaking teenage girl!

Jet lag was definitely expected after a 7100 mile, 15 hour direct flight from Seoul.  It was also expected that it would start to wain after a few days of sleeping constantly...almost in her spaghetti plate at one dinner.  So, I didn't understand why she was nodding off in the middle of conversations later in the week.  Come to find out, our "lights out" rule wasn't one she liked and she had no plans to adhere to it.  When questioned about being so tired, she informed me that she was staying up until 2 or 3 in the morning, talking to another Korean she met at our school.  What?  Sympathy for her exhaustion disappeared immediately, fire flashed in my eyes and submission to our "house rules" began.  The threat of removing her phone, computer and ipod at bedtime each night seems to have straightened that out.

There have been a couple of more "rule" challenges like that, which were dealt with swiftly and successfully.  RJ doesn't seem to be doing much of the "dealing" and gets this look on his face like a scolded little puppy when I correct her.  He's no help...the sissy!  He does have a soft spot for her and he helps me make compassionate choices in dealing with her.

Yesterday was a hair pulling experience that turned into a heart melting moment.  Communication was not in our favor from the time we started our day.  She was going to another Korean's host family's house to study for a test...or so I thought.  With their address plugged into our GPS, SEATBELTS ON (challenging house rule) and everyone in agreement that we were dropping her off at her friend's house, we headed out on the 25 minute trip across town.  Logic tells me that she should have realized what was going on and corrected the miscommunication, but that didn't happen...well, not quickly anyway.  We pulled into the driveway and she said "what is this place?"  The other host family's house.  Apparently, she had plainly stated to us prior to leaving the house that we were supposed to take her somewhere else.  Maybe another place, further away, but with the same address as the house we were sitting at?  Obviously annoyed, I try to hold my tongue while figuring out where she wanted to go.  It seems that a Korean BBQ restaurant across town the other way was her intended destination.  Climbing back in the car, I could see on RJ's face that he could tell how disturbed I was getting.  This communication thing was really getting to me.  I knew where the Korean BBQ restaurant was, so we drove "all the way" over there.  She apologized many, many times on the way.  Apparently, she can read my body language too.  About 25 more minutes and we arrived to find that her friends were not in the restaurant.  Luckily, the hostess knew where they were.  We walked around the corner to the karaoke room and found her friends, who speak fluent English and were able to tell me where and when I could pick her up.  Relieved to get her where she was going and longing to get back in the car, out of earshot to release the tension on RJ, I turned to leave.  That's when I was stopped in my steps..."Bye Mom."  Awe!!!  My heart melted, we giggled and hugged goodbye.  She was so happy to be with her people and so appreciative that we brought her "all the way" over.  How can you be mad with that?

Now, she's calling me "Mom" and RJ "Dad" and giggles every time she says it.  She seems to be adjusting, as do we.  Those adjustments aside, she seems to be a really great girl, far away from home, a little scared, a little lonely, missing her own Mom.  What can I say, my heart bleeds with compassion.  Bedtime, communication, house rules and all considered, I think we're doing ok.

I loved here before she arrived.  I love her more now.  I love her more everyday.  I have said this before and I will say it again...She isn't the only one receiving the blessing here, she seems to be a bigger blessing to me that I am to her. So, my hair still intact, my attitude adjusted and my heart filled, I sit here amusing myself with the memories of the past few days while praying for her to do good on the tests she has today because she left for school this morning terrified and completely stressed out...  Kinda feels like one of my kids already.

Love, Fatih and Life....All in One!

Tomorrow is the day...

The day we go to the airport and pick up the foreign exchange student that will be staying with us for the next 6 months.  I am so full of love right now.  I always feel immeasurable amounts of love, but right now, I fell as if I just might burst.  Happiness has taken over and I feel so giddy.  Butterflies are dancing in my stomach and I just want to skip up and down the hall singing "she's on her way, she's on her way."

Just a couple of hours ago, I got a call from M's Cousin.  She told me that M has boarded her plane and is now on her way.  She told me that her Mom wanted to make sure we would be there to pick her up at the airport.  Apparently, she was very scared and lonely when she got on the plane.  I wish I could give her a hug right now and make her feel better. She has no idea what kind of people she is flying across the world (7135 miles and 13.5 hours) to stay with. I wish I could reassure her that we are going to be so good to her and she is going to do great. I wish I could relieve the stress she is feeling leaving her family. She will have to make such an adjustment. I love her already and I haven't even met her yet.

Just trying to wrap my mind around this is blowing me away.  We are "getting a Korean!"  Us, RJ, Patti and L ...Kim too, but she's a little busy with her own thing right now. :-)  A Korean...Us...unbelievable.  Talk about trying something new, something you would never think to do, something so outside your box that it has to be a God thing for it to be happening.  I am so excited, happy, in awe.  I can't wait to share our experience and tell stories of how things are going.  God is awesome and provisional.  This is happening because of Him, through Him and for Him.

BTW, please understand that we don't say "getting a Korean" in a demeaning way.  When we first started talking about this, Land I knew that RJ would say NO WAY.  So, we started praying about it, asking God to make RJ receptive of the idea and open minded about it.  I knew if RJ even considered doing it, it would be because God touched him.  Sure enough, RJ didn't make the first negative remark.  When L introduced the idea to him, he began asking questions like "where is she going to sleep?" "Will Mom take her to school with you?" "Do you think she will like our house?"  I couldn't believe my ears.  I didn't even speak, I just listened as God "did His thang!"   After that initial conversation, there was a lot of praying, thinking, wishing, hoping and more conversations.  RJ and I told L that we had decided to do it.  She was so excited, she started singing "we're getting a Korean, we're getting a Korean."  We laughed at her, maybe even shed a tear or two, and celebrated with her.  It stuck..."we're getting a Korean."  It isn't a negative thing, the phrase reflects the excitement behind one of the most wonderful decisions our family has ever made.  We're getting a Korean and I love her without even meeting her yet.  She is going to thrive with our family...because of God.

LYMI!

Food: Snow Day Cooking

It started simply enough with an idea to cook some bbq in the crockpot.  Kim told me about a recipe for bbq sauce a while back, so I thought I'd try it.  Turns out, the recipe is one Alton Brown used with some ribs on Good Eats.  So, the sauce was loosely based on his recipe:

5 Chicken Breasts w/ Ribs & Skin

Dry Rub:
4 Tbsp Brown Sugar
1 tsp Kosher Salt
2 tsp Cajun Spice
1/4 tsp Black Pepper
1/4 tsp Cayenne
1/4 tsp Old Bay
1 tsp Cumin

Rub breasts with Dry Rub.  Cover and refrigerate for about an hour.

Braising Liquid:
1 Cup White Wine
2 Tbsp Apple Cider Vinegar
2 Tbsp Worcestershire Sauce
1 Tbsp Honey
2 Cloves Garlic, chopped

Heat braising liquid in crock pot.  Brown skin of chicken breasts in frying pan (use 2 Tbsp butter if needed).  Place breasts in braising liquid.  Cover crock pot and cook until chicken is tender and cooked thoroughly.  Remove breasts and wrap in foil to keep warm.  Pour liquid in pot and reduce to thickened sauce.  Add 1 Tbsp Mustard and 3 Tbsp Ketchup if desired. 

This recipe was balish.  We ate 3 of the breasts and I put the other 2 in the fridge to use later.  Remember, the snow and ice was keeping us at home.  Boredom overtook and the need to cook was overwhelming.  So, I went to the fridge to see what I had to work with.  With the chicken breasts, I also served creamed corn.  There was some of it left too.  An idea began to develop...

Chicken White Bean Chili

2 Chicken Breasts, cooked and shredded
1 Tbsp Extra Virgin Olive Oil
1 Cup Creamed Corn
3 Carrots, diced
2 Celery Sticks, diced
1 Onion, chopped
2 Tbsp Garlic, chopped
2 Cans White Beans (I used Navy Beans)
1 Packet White Chili Spice Pack
32 oz Chicken Stock (I use reduced sodium, fat free, no added msg)

In a skillet heat oil, cook onions, garlic, carrots, celery until onions are clear and tender.  Add corn to skillet and stir until corn is warm.  Stir in spice pack   Put in preheated crock pot.  Add Beans and Chicken.  Stir in Chicken Stock.  Cook until veggies are soft.  Add water and salt if needed.

The soup turned out delish and we have snacked on it several times.  This got me to thinking that I love soups on cold days.  RJ and L like potato soup...hmmm...so, we had to make a trip, on the icy roads, to the grocery store for more ingredients.  The store was surprisingly well stocked, except for potatoes, but I managed to find some I could use.  So, this is what I did...

2 Tbsp E.V. Olive Oil
1 Cup Chicken Stock
2 All Purpose Idaho Potatoes, chopped
8 Purple Fingerling Potatoes, chopped
1 Onion, chopped
2 Tbsp Garlic, chopped
3 Carrots, chopped
2 Celery Stalks, Chopped
1 Qt Half & Half
1 Tbsp of your favorite spice mix.  I use one from Mercier Orchards that I can't recall the name of right now.
Salt
Water

Heat Oil in a large pot.  Add Onions, garlic, carrots and celery.  Cook until onions are clear and tender.  Add potatoes and chicken stock.  Cook until most of the liquid is absorbed.  Remove from heat and let cook for a few minutes.  Add half & half, spices and salt.  Cook on low heat until potatoes are soft, stirring often to prevent scorching.  Serve with grated cheese, sour cream and bacon if desired.


While this soup was cooking, I put a roast in the crock pot to cook.  For the roast, I did the following:

1 4-5 lb. Rump Roast (you can use a different cut, but I really like the rump best)
1 Onion
2 Tbsp Garlic
2 Carrots
2 Celery Stalks
2 Potatoes, Medium
2 Tbsp Herb & Garlic Spice Mix

Cut into 3/4 to 1" pieces the Onions, Carrots and Celery.  Place in preheated crock pot.  Add Garlic and Potatoes.  Brown the Roast in a skillet and place on top of veggies in the crock pot.  Sprinkle with spice mix.  cook on high until roast is tender.  Add liquid if needed.

It smells really good, but I don't know how it tastes yet.  My crock pot doesn't seem to be cooking as hot and quickly as I would like, so the roast is still cooking.  Since we were supposed to have it for dinner, I had to scramble to prepare something for us to eat.  I have been craving rice lately, so I thought this was the perfect opportunity to make my favorite Red Beans and Rice Recipe.  I love this stuff!

1 Pkg New Orleans Johnsonville Sausage Wieners
1 Tbsp E.V. Olive Oil
1 Onion, chopped small
2 Tbsp Garlic, chopped small
1 Tbsp Cajun Spice
1 Cup Basmati Rice (you can use any kind of rice, but basmati is so balish)
4 Cups Chicken Stock
2 Cups Water
3 Tbsp Butter or Margarine

Heat the oil in a large skillet.  Cook onions and garlic until they are tender.  Add Cajun spice.  Cut wieners into 1/4" rounds and add to skillet.  Brown the wieners.  Add Basmati rice and brown lightly.  Combine Stock and Water and warm in a pot.  (keeping it warm prevents the cooking process from being interrupted by cooling the pan with cold liquid.)  Add 1 cup of stock/water to skillet and cook until all of the liquid is absorbed.  Add 1 cup at a time until the rice is tender.  Just before serving, add the butter, let it melt and stir it in well.

Dinner was a hit with RJ, L and CL (L's friend).  We had a friend stop by while I was cooking, so I packed up some of the rice and some of the potato soup for him to take home.  I bet he liked it too!

Somewhere in the middle of all of this cooking, I also baked a cake.  Yes, me...baked a cake.  You KNOW I must really be bored and have cabin fever if I take to baking.  It was a box cake, so I won't add the recipe here.  Just go to the store, buy a box, buy the ingredients pictured on the back, take it all home, follow the directions on the box, and viola', you have a cake.

The snow / ice is melting slowly, so it looks like we will only have another day or two to endure.  It doesn't look like I will have a lot of time to cook.  If that changes, maybe I will share the recipes for the meals I make.

Try some of the recipes...or all of them.  Let me know how you like them.  If you put your own stamp on them, let me know what you did.  I love to change up recipes and try new things.  Enjoy and have fun in the kitchen.

LYMI!

What is all this "PC" talk about?

My number one New Year's Resolution for 2011 is to avoid being "politically correct."  Why would I want to do that?  Because I believe liberal media outlets in this country (and other countries who should stick their nose OUT of our business) pressure us to change the way we speak, think and communicate based on the model they want us to fit into, that they (the governing body) control.  Doesn't that sound like this form of ugly governance we call "communism?"

The term "Politically Correct" or "PC" is defined by Wikipedia as "a term which denotes language, ideas, policies and behavior seen as seeking to minimize social and institutional offense in occupational, gender, racial, cultural, sexual orientation, religious belief, disability and age related contexts."   As I understand, in plain English, being PC means changing what you would say or how you would naturally say it so that you don't hurt the feelings of someone who is oversensitive or offended by truth and honesty.

Former Presidential candidate Pat Buchanan states "PC is cultural Marxism...Its trademark is intolerance."  Richard Bernstein further defines it as "pressure to conform to currently fashionable ideas."  Doesn't the very definition of PC go against our Constitutional First Amendment right of Free Speech?  Am I no longer free to call a "spade a spade" without suffering repercussions from someone who has a different view or opinion?  I believe that freedom to express differing opinions and beliefs without rebuke is part of what makes this country great.  Isn't that partially what the Founding Fathers had in mind when they declared our independence?

Making certain terms taboo or repressing the use of certain descriptions is an attempt to control communication and thought patterns.  Again, I ask what form of ugly government that sounds like.  For instance, it is now PC to say "firefighter" instead of the offensive "fireman," or "physically challenged" instead of "blind" or "handicapped."  My favorite is the adjective "Caucasian culturally disadvantaged" instead of "white trash."  Come on, really!

The "Politically Correct" are so egotistical that they go against the very meaning of the term in describing those who do not subscribe to their way of thinking.  If someone is not PC, they are characterized as racist, bigoted, or hate mongers instead of just honest and outspoken.   A "politically incorrect" person then is bullied into shying away from speaking based on their personal beliefs.  Those bullies strive to force me to adhere to their standard of expression based on their judgement that mine is unacceptable.  They will not concede to the fact that outside of God's laws of kindness and love, there is no basis for an authority to enforce "Political Correctness."  The liberals, communists and progressives in this country desire to be just that.  They cannot succeed if patriots like me and you stand up for the Constitution and the unalienable freedoms we are granted by our Creator and prevent the denial of the rights we have simply for being Americans.  Our Founding Fathers fought and died for this and it is our responsibility to keep it alive.

Still not sure what it means to be "Politically Correct?"  Here are a few examples:

"The Arizona shooter is an idiotic uneducated white trash cultist raised by idiotic, sorry excuse for parents who should have been sterilized" is not PC.  Rather, "He is a victim of an untreated mental and psychological imbalance who was raised by Caucasian culturally challenged individuals."

Killer = Innocent victim of his upbringing
Nancy Pelosi talks too much = She is abundantly verbal
Hillbillies = Appalachian Americans

A few common ones:

Black = African American
Indian = Native American
Gay = Alternative Sexual Orientation
Short = Vertically Challenged
Tall = Vertically Advanced

And the all time worst:

Merry Christmas = happy holidays ( I hate that...I mean, I strongly dislike it...No, I mean I HATE THAT!)

What are the PC statements that stand out most to you, funniest, most offensive or just down right tee you off?

Thanks for reading.

Common Courtesy, Not So Common

Is it just me, or are people getting more and more rude?  Maybe it is the economical stresses, the political state of our country or any number of other factors, but the general public seems to be losing their minds where manners are concerned. 

On a recent trip to Disney World, we were surrounded by rude, manner less foreign people.  America is an awesome country.  People who are not citizens here are privileged to be on our soil.  As a country, we tolerate a lot from foreigners, both legal and illegal.  It is taking things too far when they come to our country to visit the places we vacation and are rude to us.  America is the greatest country on the face of the Earth.  To be disrespected by those who do not live here, pay taxes, work to keep this country free, etc... is quite bothersome.  I have had enough already! 

Life: Baby Girl #3

Close your eyes and imagine the scene.  It is midday in Georgia on a warm October afternoon.  The sun is shining, the birds are chirping and the squirrels are making that weird noise they make that sounds like someone popping their cheek with their finger.  Ok, come back to my story now.  Picture Wellstar Cobb Hospital Women's Center.  That's where it all began.  Well, not actually, but you don't want me to go into the whole birds and bees, passion and love making thing, so let's just say this is where it began.

RJ and I checked in at the admissions counter and headed to our "birthing suite" to relax.  Shortly after checking in, the nurse administered the drugs to begin the wonderful labor pains that all mommies live for.  The contractions started strong and came quick.  Around 3 p.m., RJ realized he needed a mower shipped to us from our supplier, so I made the phone call to them to get it taken care of.  Yes, I had to pause several times for contractions and the supplier was mortified.  One hour and eight minutes later, at 4:08 for the mathematically challenged, I pushed all of four times and this little human being was introduced into our cruel, cold, bright, noisy world.

At 4:08 p.m. on October 8th, 1996, God gave us our own little "Beanie" baby.  At 4:09 p.m., I realized something was wrong.  She didn't look right, she didn't sound right, she wasn't being handed to me.  She was whisked away and everyone in the room tried to act as if everything was normal.  Anyone who knows me can tell you that I don't like to be pushed around and I will cuss you for doing so.  Well, at 4:10 p.m., the doctors and nurses in my "suite" were getting a cussing! 

Let's back up a little bit...are your eyes still closed?  You'll need to open them for this...  Two years prior to this day, I gave birth to our second daughter.  She lived 17 hours and died of a heart abnormality.  It was a terrible time in our lives, but we survived it.  So, here we were, having baby girl number 3 and the staff was mistakenly keeping information from me.  Calm down, it was not as bad as it seemed though it felt that way having experienced the catastrophic loss of baby girl #2.

Ok, back to the story.  Beanie was blue.  Yes, blue...like a smurf...I hadn't slept with a smurf, so this seemed to me to be a problem.  The doctor and nurse were beating her on the back with this strange apparatus and I thought they were going to beat her to death.  It was a good thing I was stuck with my feet in the stirrups or I might have decked one of them.  After the cussing fit, one of the nurses calmly explained that Beanie was not breathing because she hadn't acclimated well to the change from breathing fluid to breathing air.  She can be a little slow at times and this was no exception. 

We had a happy ending to the ordeal though.  Beanie started breathing, her color became normal proving that I indeed had not slept with a smurf and everything was right in the world again.  They brought her over to us and we held on to her like we were holding on for dear life...

Flash forward 14 years.  Yes, today our baby girl #3 turns 14...at 4:08 p.m.  Like we did that day 14 years ago, we are holding on for dear life.  It seems we have spent the last 14 years holding our breath...figuratively...I don't think either of us has turned blue at any point...red, yes...blue, don't think so.

Beanie made quite a dramatic entry into this world.  Everything she does is dramatic!  Those first cries sounded like an opera to us and she is still singing today.  She sings so much, one day I think her head is going to pop off!  (for the slow ones, I mean she sings her head off.)  She is my lovey-dovey.  She is generous, caring, hilarious, silly, smart and I just love to hear her laugh.  She loves Drama Club, Soccer, everything to do with diva fashion and can sing circles around the rest of the family.  As you can tell, I am so proud of #3.  It was a rocky start and has been quite a road to where we are today.  There have been a lot of prayers, tears, discipline, fights with #1 and sometimes I thought she'd take me right over the edge of insanity.

Today, as I contemplate her life, both where she's been and where's she going, I can only say that I am filled with such joy and love.  I can exhale, relax and know that God did good and it is all going to be all right with her.  My husband and kids are my whole world and what a beautiful, bright, fun world it is.  Today, we celebrate with #3, our Beanie Baby as she turns 14.  The future is so bright for our family and I am so thrilled.

Beanie Baby, Baby Girl #3...I love you with all of me.  You are wonderfully made.  Thank you for your strong faith in God, family and your country.  You make me so proud.  Now, go...go do something spectacular with your life and enjoy every single breath.

By the way, the hospital staff forgave me for the tongue lashing, the distributor shipped the mower which got to us the next day and two days later when we returned to our humble abode, all was right with the world.  Today, all is still right with the world because God is in control.

Love ya, mean it!

The Joy in Funerals II

Well, if you're reading this one, I supposed you enjoyed part I.  If you didn't enjoy it and you're reading this one, you're just sick! :-)  I have a lot to say, so let's jump right into it...

Two Uncles:

Recently, I have lost 2 iconic uncles.  Both lived long, productive lives and touched many.  Both will be missed and Heaven is a better place because they are there.

Vester Dean (Uncle Vet):

Uncle Vet served his country for many years in the military.  He was highly intelligent and could fix anything.  After his funeral, his family shared many stories of his life that I hadn't heard before.  I had one of my own to share.  When my cousin, Angie, got married, I stood in for her at the rehearsal.  I guess we were 19 or so.  At the rehearsal dinner, I spoke to Uncle Vet and reminded him who I am.  He said "I was wondering who that girl with the short skirt on was!"  I was embarrassed at the time, but now it makes me laugh.  He also had a thing for shoes.  Apparently, he never met a pair he didn't buy.  Aunt Margaret said she could start a shoe store with all of the shoes in his closet.  We laughed a lot that day and visited with family we rarely see.  Uncle Vet was big on family and I know he would enjoy knowing that he brought us all together.

C.A. Frey (Uncle Audrey):

I was so sad when Uncle Audrey died.  He is the first of my Mom's siblings to pass and he was such a leader in our family.  Anyone who knew him knows what a special, loving, honest, strong man he was.  Boy did he love his Dawgs!  When I was younger, C.A. was the meanest man on the face of the earth, so his salvation story is the best I have ever heard.  When he accepted Christ, he was a changed man.  People who met him later in his life would have never believed that he used to scare the heck out of us kids.  His funeral was a Reunion of sorts as numerous family members as well as friends attended.  I will cherish that day forever.  C.A. was and is one of my favorite people ever.  He has a special place in my heart always.

There have been so many other funerals I have attended for loved ones that I still miss today.  I love the funny memories the most.  "Paw Paw" Ben was a funny, caring family friend who adopted us as his own.  He was so clumsy and working in the garden with him and my parents was like entering a war zone.  Every time "Big Foot" stepped on a plant, Mom and Dad had a fit.  My heart aches to visit with him.

Numerous Uncles, Aunts, Family Friends, etc... have passed.  Every one of their funerals has touched me in a special way.  One funeral in particular stands out to me above all others.  I use the term "funeral" loosely here.  This one was more of a "Celebration of Life".

Norman D. Astin (Doug):

On January 20, 2008, we found my Dad at his home in a state of confusion.  He had suffered a stroke.  On February 20, 2008, he suffered another stroke, this one catastrophic.  He was in the hospital for quite some time and then moved to a nursing home for rehabilitation.  He could not move the right side of his body, so he couldn't sit, walk, eat on his own, talk or do anything that he was used to in his active life.  He had a feeding tube and wore a diaper.  He was a shell of the man he had once been.  His only form of communication was "woo wa woo woo wa woo!"  Sometime he cracked us up with that, other times, all of us would get frustrated and angry.  After a while, we began to understand that he was telling us he wanted to go home to die.  Through a series of yes and no questions, I was able to understand exactly what his wishes for his funeral were.  He began to refuse his food and meds, which induced a series of mini strokes.  We moved him to my brother's farm where three days later he died from a massive stroke.  The next day, we began implementing his plan for the "Celebration" of his life. 

We decorated the walls in Mike's living room with pictures, military medals and memorabilia.  We ordered t-shirts for each of our family members and bought overalls.  On Friday night, my immediate family gathered at the farm and had a party to rival all parties.  We laughed, sang, told lies, spit, cussed and shed a few tears.  We partied until the wee hours of the morning, celebrating my Dad and our family.  Saturday morning, we gathered in our overalls and Elmer Fudd t-shirts and starter receiving guests.  If anyone came expecting a traditional funeral, they got a huge surprise.  There was music, food, drinks, stories and a lot of laughter.  We had two ministers speak and everyone milled through the living room looking through the memorabilia.  We had separated Dad's ashes into eight shotgun shell boxes:  one for each child and one for Mom.  We took his ashes to his favorite hunting spot and took turns spreading them around the area.  We gave him a shotgun salute and hung each of the shell boxes in the trees.  It rained while we were there, which seemed fitting to us.  We cried like babies while we were there.  We then took a drive out to his house for one final visit.  My family bonded that day in a way we never had.  Dad would be very happy with us for the relationships we have developed through his loss.  At the end of the day, we were all pleased with Dad's memorial and I don't think we could have done one single thing to have made it better.

So, yes, some of my best memories and some of the best time I've had with family revolve around the love have shared over tragedy and loss.  The Bible tells us to celebrate and rejoice the life of those who leave us to return to Him.  I think God smile on my family the day we celebrated my Dad.

Having recently shared the idea for this blog with a friend, I realized that some people may not have attended many funerals and a lot of people may not have had the opportunity to feel the enjoyment of the event.  Don't misunderstand me.  I do grieve each person mentioned.  I am still grieving some of them.  But, in the end, God is love and it is important to enjoy his love with the living.  So, next time you face the death of a loved one, I hope you can remember my story and enjoy remembering the dead.  You're loved one would want you to have good memories, laugh, love one another and walk away knowing they are smiling at you.

I would love for you to give my your comments, share your stories or ask me questions.  I hope I have touched you in some way.

The Joy in Funerals

Funerals have provided some of the best family memories I have. I know that sounds strange. Maybe I just have a crazy family. Maybe I'm onto something here. Maybe both?

I have attended many funerals in my life. Each one is a unique memory for me. Most have a common thread of enjoyment. I know, that is not a word you would normally relate to funeral attendance. Just consider for a moment that the deceased would love for you to enjoy the celebration of their life and the time you spend with family and friends recounting your favorite stories of them. In the following paragraphs, I will recount some of the funerals I have attended and how they have touched my life and in many ways, changed me...for the better.

William Joseph Frey (Pop Frey):

The first funeral I remember is my Mom's father, Pop Frey (or Papa Frey). I was 9 when he died of complications relating to cerosis of the liver. This funeral confused me. I didn't fully understand death at that age and was taking it all in. My Dad seem to have taken it the hardest, which seemed strange to me because it was my Mom's Dad that died. Dad cried through the ceremony and sobbed out loud. I was so upset that I couldn't comfort him, so I cried uncontrollably too. My Uncle Audrey (C.A.) consoled me and tried to help me understand. I am sure we had the traditional meal after the cemetary service, but I don't remember that part. What I do remember is the photos that were taken that day. The pictures of Mama Frey (Mom's Mother) are among some of my all time favorites. There was a lot of sadness that day, but the love shown in the pictures surpasses the sadness. I am grateful for the time I had with my grandfather and I still love to share memories of him with my family.

Ashley Diane Loveless:

The hardest thing I have ever faced is the death of our daughter, Ashley. She was born with a heart defect and only lived 17 hours. She died in our arms, dressed in a beautiful christening dress the loving nurses provided. We held a graveside service for her at Cheatham Hill Memorial in a section they call Baby Land. I remember how haunting it was to hear them say they had a dedicated section of the cemetery just for babies. There were more people there that I could count and I was touched that so many came. After the service, family and friends returned to our house to eat. The smart nurses who cared for me had me on pain medication, so parts of that day are quite fuzzy. But, I do remember laughing at all of the "old women" like my Mom and Mother-in-Law sneaking cigarettes in the back bedroom. They thought they could open the window, blow the smoke out and no one would know they were smoking. Sounds like something I once tried as a teenager. Their silly antics brought some comic relief in our time of grief. It makes me chuckle now.

Blaun D. Frey (Mama Frey):

Mama Frey's passing was a very sad event in our family. I remember my Mom, Aunt, Cousins and I standing at the casket saying our final goodbyes. The sobs sounded so foreign and the grief would have been overwhelming without one another to cling to. In contrast, some of my favorite family memories revolve around the meal after the ceremonies. I pulled a prank on my cousin Dean that still makes me smile today. He forgot to get a drink and left the table to get one. Then he realized he forgot a fork. When he got up to get one, I took his drink. The look on his face when he saw his drink missing was priceless, full of confusion and slow realization. Laughter erupted around the table. Of course, he got me back. The whole afternoon was filled with joking and laughter. Mama Frey's funeral was the most emotional one I have attended. She was one awesome woman, the best granny (she's slap me for that) and I miss her still.

Jim Gabrielson:

The night before I delivered Ashley, Jim came to visit me in the hospital. The nurse mistook him for my husband when she came in the room to check the monitor leads on my belly. She threw back all of the covers and there I was in all my glory! She quickly realized her mistake. We laughed so hard they almost had to remove the monitors until I could stop laughing. For years, Jim and I laughed and shared that story with others. One day, when Jim was 42, he was playing soccer and suddenly died on the field. As I sat through his funeral, I couldn't help but cry and laugh at the same time. We shared some good times together, Jim.

Mayme B. Astin (Mama Astin):

Mama Astin was my Dad's Mom. She was in her 90's when she died. This funeral was particularly difficult for me because it wasn't too long after Ashley died. I don't remember a lot from that day, but I do have some outstanding memories of her life. She was very short, but that shouldn't fool you, she could get quite mean. Once, she told her caretaker that she was going to knock her out, drag her to the field across the street and set it on fire. She could hardly even walk, much less do anyone any harm. That story still cracks me up. Mama Astin was a loving, mischievous, beautiful jokester. She could get pretty mean sometimes. I'm nothing like her...haha!

Dean Frey:

Dean died unexpectedly in a single car accident. My knees buckled and I lost my breath when Mom called me to tell me what happened. His funeral was just awful. Sadness was felt by everyone. Dean was the first of all of the cousins in our family to die and we all took it hard. The family gathered before and after the funeral at Uncle Audrey and Aunt Jo's house. We did shed a lot of tears. We also reconnected with family friends we hadn't see in 20+ years. Dean was a big ole teddy bear and hysterically funny. Memories of him and the stories told that day still bring a smile to my face.

As mentioned earlier, I have attended numerous funerals in my young life. As this blog is getting a little too long for most people to want to continue reading, I have decided to divide the "Funerals" post into two parts. The ones I haven't talked about yet deserve more attention that one would want to pay at this point. I hope you have enjoyed reading this one. I also hope it makes you think of all of the wonderful memories you have of important loved ones who have passed on. See you in part II.